A bit of Insanity or Teatime, somewhat
by Sansele
Summary: What do you get when you put a number of hentai fan-girls together with the Suzaku seishi? Quite a bit of chaos....
1. The Seishi Appear

Disclaimer: Don't own Fushigi Yuugi, but if they ever are for sale, especially Chichiri… *sparkly eyes…call me.

Sansele: Okay, this is a little psychotic thing written at 3a.m. Jade, Grace, Zel and Draconsis are real people, in case you were wondering…all except Zel are fanfic authors…

~~~~~~~~

Jade: I'm bored!

Sansele: Go write your Flame of Recca fic then!

Jade: No inspiration…

Grace: Hmm…maybe we could use the infinite-author-powers-that-be…

Zel: *Sigh* This has to do with Fushigi Yuugi, right? I'm outta here… 

Sansele: Heh, heh…(pulls Zel back)…

Jade: Nah, Fushigi Yuugi sucks!

Sansele: It does, does it? (Concentrates)

(Hotohori falls from the sky. Jade's eyes grow wide and REALLY big.)

Sansele: You were saying?

Jade: Hot-to-ho-ri…(Swoons)

Hotohori: Yet another fan-girl swooning over my beautiful, amazing looks…(Takes out his mirror to admire himself)

Grace: In that case…(Concentrates)

(Tasuki falls from the sky.)

Grace: Tasuki!

Tasuki: What the %#&@*# am I doing here?!

(Sansele: A note. Grace insists she doesn't like guys. And starts glomping Tasuki.)

Tasuki: Argh! Another rabid fan-girl!!!!

Sansele: Draconsis!

(Draconsis pops out of nowhere…)

Draconsis: Hiya, Sansele-chan! (Sees Tasuki) TASUKI!! MY DARLING! MY ONE AND ONLY!

Grace: Hands off, I was here first!

Draconsis: Oh yeah?

Grace: Yeah!

Sansele: And Zel, you've been really quiet, haven't you?

Zel: Umm…

(Amiboshi falls from the sky.)

Amiboshi: Where am I?

Sansele: Hi Amiboshi! Let me introduce you to Zel.

(Within ten minutes…)

Amiboshi: So you'll teach me to play the saxophone, and I'll tutor you on the flute?

Zel: Yes, if it's not too much bother…(blushes)

(Thoughts)

Sansele: Zelly has a boyfriend…

Zel: Stop it!

Sansele: But why should I? 

(End Thoughts)

(Sansele watches as Amiboshi and Zel walk off; Grace and Draconsis attempt to kill each other and glomp Tasuki at the same time, and Jade watches Hotohori with starry eyes.)

Sansele: Damn boring…

(The rest of the Suzaku seishi except for SOMEONE fall from the sky.)

Draconsis: NURIKO!!!!

Nuriko: Err, heh…

Tamahome: Where's Miaka?

Jade: Hey, there's only six of them…

Grace: Tasuki's here, Hotohori's here… Nuriko, Chiriko, Tamahome and Mitsukake… Where's Chichiri?

Draconsis: Ah, Sansele, didn't want to be tempted, eh?

Sansele: (as innocently as is possible) Whatever are you talking about?

(Suddenly a kesa appears. And Chichiri pops out.)

Sansele: NOOO! (Closes eyes) I'm going to kill you Draconsis…I will not swoon, I will not swoon…

Chichiri: What's she talking about, no da?

Nuriko: Seems someone likes you.

Chichiri: Daaaaa…

(All the seishi watch sweatdropping as the others circle Sansele in a crafty way.)

Jade: But Sansele…

Sansele: No!

Draconsis: Sansele, you want to…

Sansele: No!

Grace: Don't worry, Sansele…

Sansele: I will worry, because I'm supposed to have more self-control! (Yeah right.)

Tamahome: How long would you bet she's going to last?

Tasuki: I'll bet 100ryou that she lasts four minutes.

Nuriko: Nah, eighty ryou for two minutes. She's starting to shake.

Chichiri: This is all very weird, no da.

Hotohori: Do you think she'll forget about Chichiri and follow me instead?

(Sansele overhears.)

Sansele: NO!

Tamahome: That's it; I'm going to taunt her as well.

Nuriko: Oooh, I'll follow you.

Tasuki: Count me in!

(Seishi join circle.)

Draconsis: Come on Sansele…

Tamahome: My money is at stake!

Nuriko: Don't you like Chichiri?

Tasuki: Heh.

Jade: Sansele…

Sansele: Wait a second.

(Suddenly two other people pop out of a kasa.)

Nicole: Hi Sansele! Ooh…Chichiri…(Starts drooling)

Sandra: I'll take the shakujou!

Nicole: But I want it!

(Both pounce on top of Chichiri. Sansele slowly opens her eyes.)

Draconsis: Sansele…who are those two people?

Zel: Where did the kasa come from?

Sansele: Oh that. (Clicks fingers and Nicole and Sandra disappear.) The kasa is mine, you idiots. Sandra and Nicole are illusions I created.

Chichiri: How come now you're okay, no da?

Sansele: Because I was enjoying myself. Whatever Sandra and Nicole feel, I feel. Author powers are so useful sometimes…

Tamahome: Oh no, does it count that she didn't last then?

Draconsis: Looks like you lost a bit of money, Tamahome…

(Grace looks at Draconsis and looks at Tasuki.)

Grace: Maybe we should continue?

Draconsis: Oh yes…

Tasuki: NO!

(Grace and Draconsis pounce on him.)

Jade: Oh Hotohori…

(Walk off with him.)

Sansele: Okay…

(Table appears in front of the remaining seishi and they sit down. Tea and other delicacies appear on the table.)

Sansele: Tea? (Pours out for all of them.)

Nuriko: Erm…Sansele?

Sansele: Yes?

Nuriko: How come you haven't done anything to Chichiri yet?

Sansele: That's true. 

(Nicole and Sandra appear again.)

Nicole and Sandra: OH CHICHIRI-SAMA!!! (Jump all over him)

Nuriko: *Sweatdrops* Uh, that wasn't what I expected.

Chichiri: Help me, no da!

Chiriko: So that's why you were so calm…

Sansele: Yes, that's also the reason Nicole and Sandra are here.

Sandra: Oh Chichiri, you're so hot!

Nicole: Chichiri-sama, I'm so in love with you…

Sansele: Of course, although they are illusions, they do somewhat have a mind of their own…

Chiriko: So you're placing Chichiri in the hands of two lunatics?

Sansele: The sensations are quite interesting…

Nuriko: Are you hentai, by any chance?

Sansele: A little.

(Seishi sweatdrop.)

Tasuki: SAVE ME!

Grace: Where's the whipped cream, Draconsis?

Draconsis: Here!

Tasuki: &#&$#*%#…Argh!

(Draconsis is unbuttoning his shirt while Grace plays with the whipped cream can.)

Nuriko: Should we go save him?

Tamahome: On second thoughts…

Nuriko and Tamahome: Nah.

(Jade and Hotohori are having tea at another part of the…oh, fine, it's a garden… discussing swords, politics and other matters.)

Unfortunately…

Sandra: I take the kesa!

Nicole: Oh, in that case, I take Chichiri!

Sandra: Not fair!

Chichiri: Stop, stop…

Nuriko: Sansele, maybe you should stop now…

(Sandra and Nicole somehow take off Chichiri's shirt.)

Nuriko: Sansele!

(Sansele clicks fingers, stares at Chichiri, grins and swoons.)

Chichiri: Ah, thank Suzaku, no da…

Tamahome: How long did she take to swoon? How long?

Chiriko: No one was timing, Tamahome.

Tamahome: Sniff, sniff…all my money…gone! Gone!

Nuriko: Oh, count your blessings Tamahome! You could have hentai fan-girls piled on top of you now!

Tasuki: AHHHHH!

~~~~~~~~

Sansele: And I really should be doing my overdue homework now…~_~; 

Maybe I'll write another bit to this if people review…Heh. Chichiri…*drools 


	2. Fangirls are evil

Disclaimer: Anytime Yuu Watase feels inclined to sell the seishi, remember to contact me first.

Chapter Two: Fangirls are evil…. (Cackle while seishi gulp nervously)

 (Now, all seishi and fangirls are gathered around the table. Grace and Draconsis are still on top of Tasuki, who is wailing insanely. And Jade is happily conversing with Hotohori. Chichiri, however, has already gotten his shirt back on when Sansele was swooning.)

Sansele: mumble, mumble…

Draconsis: Feeling deprived, Sansele?

Sansele: NO!

(Chichiri emits an unhappy sigh.)

Sansele: Okay, well, we got a bunch of reviews.

(Long pause.)

All: YOU POSTED IT ON FANFICTION.NET???!!!

Sansele: (unfazed) You have a problem with that? Oh, and two people told Grace and Draconsis to DO MORE…

(Both Tasuki fangirls laugh insanely.)

Draconsis: Grace!

Grace: Draconsis!

(Both get off Tasuki and proceed to seal their 'truce' with a bandit dance.)

Sansele: Anyway, we have two new fangirls. Let's welcome Saihitei no Miko, and Chibi Leelee Milo! 

(Short pause, as they enter through a portal.)

Jade: (suspiciously) Saihitei no Miko? Does this mean I have competition?

Hotohori: Ah, another one of my supporters… truly, I'm so beautiful, it's scary… (Takes out mirror and looks at himself)

Sanomi: Hoto-chaaaaan! (Positively bounces and glomps Hotohori)

(Jade starts to get rather angry, and rushes to pull Sanomi off Hotohori. A small fight breaks out.)

Jade: If you would excuse me, Hotohori-sama is mine!

Sanomi: *cough* For your information, he's mine! I'm the Saihitei no Miko!

Jade: You don't love him as much as I do!

Sanomi: You can't appreciate him as much as I do!

(Swift evil look passes between them.)

Sanomi: Let's settle this outside.

Jade: Sure, whatever. 

(Both grab their weapons, which we will assume are swords, because of their favoured bishounen, and walk out with dignity to another empty dimension to fight.)

(All this while, Chibi Leelee Milo has been staring at Nuriko, with hearts in her eyes. Nuriko is getting just a little nervous…)

Chibi Leelee Milo: Nuri-chaaaaan…

Nuriko: Um, yes? 

Chibi Leelee Milo: My sole mission in coming here is to glomp you! (Pounces on Nuriko and does just that)

Nuriko: So I have a fangirl now… 

Chibi Leelee Milo: Of course, Nuri-chan… *happy fangirl sigh*

Nuriko: 'Tis not too bad, really… 

Sansele: Okay, now we require a Mitsukake fangirl and a Chiriko fangirl!

Nuriko: What about Tama-chan?

Sansele: Oh, who cares about him, he's still grieving over the loss of money and the lack of Miaka…

Tamahome: (sadly) Miaka… Ryou-chan… Miaka… Ryou-chan… onegai, return to me…

Sansele: You see my point. 

(Suddenly…)

Tasuki: Eh, heh… just let me hide here, please?

Nuriko: Where's your harem? 

(Just then, Draconsis and Grace walk past.)

Draconsis: You know, I've found this really long…

Grace: Ah, you could stick it up his…

Tasuki: ~_~;

Nuriko: O_O

Chichiri: …

(Then, Sansele remembers something important.)

Sansele: Chichiri, I haven't jumped on you for quite some time.

Chichiri: Daaaaa…. Be kind, onegai? (Backs away as Sansele advances)

Sansele: Muahahahaha… 

(Nicole and Sandra appear, and begin… um…)

Sansele: Assaulting Chichiri in ways you could only dream of.

(O_O)

Sansele: Just write that down, voice-in-the-blanks.

(~_~;;;)

Chichiri: Please stop, na no da… Oh… Ah…

Nuriko: How come Chichiri's not protesting…

Tasuki: What are those two freaks doing to Chichiri! 

Sansele: They are not freaks, the sensations… are… VERY good… they're just… how do I say this nicely…

(Taking off Chichiri's shirt and rubbing him?)

Sansele: Yeah…

Nuriko & Tasuki: O_O

Tasuki: Okay, I'm $@*#% running. Somewhere. Anywhere. Where there are no evil %@*^# fangirls…

Nuriko: Oh no, you're not… (Reaches out and grabs him) 

(All this time, Chibi Leelee Milo is happily glomping Nuriko. Without any intention of letting go.)

Tamahome: Miaka... Ryou-chan…

Tasuki: You know, he values his money more than Miaka. Let's go tease him.

(Just then…)

Draconsis: TASUKI KOI-CHAAAAAAN~!

Grace: We were looking all over for you…

Draconsis: Now we can look all over you. 

(Evil laughter commences…)

Tasuki: ~_~;;;

Sansele: Eh, wait; I have a deal for you guys.

(Long, five-second discussion takes place.)

Draconsis & Grace: Okay!

Sansele: Yay! Time to torture Tama!

Tasuki: How come they agreed? (Suspicious look) What did you *$@^$% agree to?

Sansele: That's for me to know and for you to find out.

Tasuki: %@&^#…

Nuriko: Chibi Leelee Milo, do you mind getting off me for a while?

Chibi Leelee Milo: Why?

Nuriko: The temptation of destroying whatever remains of Tama-chan's mentality is too much to resist.

Chibi Leelee Milo: Cool! Let me join you… (Pleading look)

Nuriko: Okay.

(So the four fangirls and two seishi [Chichiri didn't want to join in] set off to make Tamahome's life a misery.)

Nuriko: Oh Tama-chaaaan!

Tamahome: *sniff, sniff* Leave me alone… *sniff, sniff*

Grace: (looks innocent) Don't you want your ryou back? (Holds up coin)

Tamahome: Ryou-chaaaan… *reaches forth to take it*

Grace: Or maybe not… (Puts coin away)

Tamahome: Sniffle…

Tasuki: Oy, Tamahome, here's a &@^%#% ryou…

Tamahome: Thanks…

Tasuki: I think I'll keep it.

Fangirls and seishi: *Snigger

Tamahome: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

(After five minutes…)

Sansele: Ryou.

Nuriko: RYOU.

Chibi Leelee Milo: RYOU!!!

Tamahome: (breaks down and cries)

(And the evil fangirls and seishi high-five and bandit-dance. How lovely.)

Sansele: Isn't it? ^_^

(~_~;)

Sansele: Don't be so disapproving.

(Whatever. Just then, the warring Hotohori fangirls come back.)

Draconsis: So what's the outcome?

Saihitei no Miko: We've reached a compromise. (Death glare to Jade)

Grace: Really? What's that?

Jade: We share Hotohori-sama. (Death glare to Saihitei no Miko)

Chichiri: Something tells me that it's not going to work, no da…

(However, due to not having been with Hotohori… okay, fine, Hotohori-sama/Hoto-chan…)

Jade & Saihitei no Miko: ^_^

(*Sigh* Well, as I was saying, as they had not been with him for some time, they rushed off to have tea with him.)

Jade: Hotohori-sama?

Hotohori: Yes?

Saihitei no Miko: Let's go have tea, Hoto-chan.

Hotohori: All right.

(And so they set off to the nearest table.)

Nuriko: Let's go have some too. Different table unfortunately, since the Hotohori fangirls might kill us.

Sansele: Okay. 

Tasuki: I don't want no %$@*# tea. 

Sansele: Who said that you were having any?

(Just then, Tasuki realises that Draconsis and Grace are holding him tightly. VERY tightly.)

Tasuki: @*%#&^???!!!

Chichiri: I think they made an agreement to haul you off to another dimension, na no da.

Tasuki: WHAT?!

Grace: A nice, empty dimension.

Draconsis: Where you won't be able to escape from us. 

Tasuki: What the %#*%#! Nuriko, save me!!!

(Nuriko turns and devotes his attention to Chibi Leelee Milo.)

Tasuki: Chichiri, please! Sansele, don't let them do *&#@$% this to me! Please!

(However, Grace and Draconsis have already opened the portal. And so Tasuki is dragged off, screaming and kicking, as Chichiri and Sansele smile and wave.)

Sansele: Have a good time!

Chichiri: Come back soon, na no da!

(And so we leave the scene of mass destruction and chaos, to bring you this message from Draconsis.)

Draconsis: What happens in the dimension with Tasuki, Grace & me, is up to your hentai and perverted imaginations. Enjoy.

Tasuki: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

~~~~~~~

A/n: Looks like I've finished another chapter of 'Teatime'. It's a bit odd, but Tasuki seems to shriek at the end of every chapter. Weird. 

Saihitei no Miko, Chibi Leelee Milo, I hope you're happy with how I portrayed you. I'm a little apprehensive, because I really haven't had much experience in fangirl-insertion. ^_~

However, we still haven't finished with Amiboshi and Zel. So there will be a last chapter… just to round it all off. ^_^


End file.
